FRONT LINES

February is black history month.  It caused me to remember warriors like Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King Jr…Individuals who were on the front lines to declare war for justice and change. 

I recognize that people had to die for me to live.  Our freedom, in any shape, is a result of someone standing on the front line. 

I wonder “What are we on the front lines for?"

Everyone has a front line.  Where do you serve?  Where are you fighting?  What are you fighting for?

Often when we find our front line we find our purpose.  We find what we are willing to die for.  Some will say, “I’m just a mother.”  If you’re a mother your children are your front line.   You are a front line mom. 

Sometimes our voice is the front line.

If all God asked was for your voice on the front line would you give it to him?   To declare, “This isn’t right!  This is not just!"

Find your front line and you'll find your purpose!

WHAT ARE YOU WIILING TO DIE DOING?

Will people remember how you died or how you lived?  If I choose to return to drugs, alcohol, and prostitution and die on the streets no one will speak about the things God did in and through me these past 9 years.  I will be remembered as another DEAD HO.

If people don’t speak about how you have lived then you didn’t really live.  You just existed.  When you and I live out Micah 6:8 and “do justice, live mercy, and walk humbly” we tap into our purpose, our calling, and what we were predestined to do.

How do you want your obituary to read?  That person who speaks the last 2 minutes over your dead body – what will they say?  In the end, when this life is all over will people be able to honestly say, “Carolyn lived out Micah 6:8 with love”?

You have a purpose.  Don’t miss it.

HEALING THE CHILD WITHIN

One of my favorite pictures of myself was taken around my 5^th birthday.  It was the last time I felt pretty and important.  It was the last time I felt like my daddy’s little girl.  I was a princess.

After that I was on my own.  I no longer felt pretty enough, smart enough, or good enough.  I moved from being that little princess to someone wearing masks, locked in cells, and wrapped in chains.

Now at 50 years old God is taking me on a journey to go back and heal that little girl.  Today, I am allowing God to free that child who has been wrapped in chains and masks.

I treasure this photo as it reminds me of who I was.  It prompts me to see who God made me to be.  It shows me how God sees me.  Today, I know God sees me as His daughter, a survivor, a wounded healer, His beloved.  He is proud of me and loves me.  I am His mouthpiece and representative.   He trusts me.  He not only set me free, but has called me to set the captives free.

I AM FREE and continue to be UNBOUND.

I hope you know you are a beloved daughter or son.  You are fearfully and wonderfully made.  Where you are broken He wants to repair.  He desires to fill that emptiness with His joy and peace.  You are His unique, peculiar masterpiece.

WHAT DON'T KILL YOU DON'T MAKE YOU STRONGER

“Do you want to handle it or do you want me to handle it?”  This is a message I consistently hear from God.

When I handle things I end up regretting it.  I cause more problems than the original problem.  One problem expands to numerous problems.  Shame, self-anger, loss of power, and sorrow are results of me handling things.

Allowing God to handle it means “all is well”.  Recognizing that it is the Lord’s battle and not mine leads to peace, power, and hope.  It changes my perspective of the situation.  When God handles it rather than me I get to see how He works all things for the good.

The streets taught me “what don’t kill you will make you stronger.”  Not true.  Most often those things have made me weaker, keep me in bondage, and continue to pull me down.  Nevertheless, when I allow God to handle these past hurts I can eventually be free!

We all have a choice – Do you handle it or allow God to handle it?  True freedom is when we release our hurts, habits, bitterness, and enemies to God.  He can handle them!

I encourage you to meditate on Psalm 35.

TAKE THE LIMITS OFF GOD

I remember watching American Idol this past spring and they asked the contestants, “If time, money, or resources were not an issue what would you do?” 

I would do exactly what I am doing – speaking to the broken and hurting.  I have to because I promised God at that bus stop that I would go where He say to go, say what He say to say, and do what He say to do.  I love being part of the solution rather than part of the problem.  After seeing so much brokenness I now see hope.  I get tremendous joy watching people get delivered and set free.  I rejoice seeing God work in people’s lives.

As long as we are doing what God calls us to do He will provide the way.

MY PAST IS MY PAST

Today, I drove through my old neighborhood and passed that bus stop I cried out from, the place I was stabbed, and the place my sister was murdered.  You see, each of these were in that same neighborhood.  The same area.

There was a time in my life that I passed by these and felt the shame, ugliness, guilt and demonic oppression of my past life.

Yet, as I passed by these haunting memories today I looked back and realized where God has brought me from.  As I drove through the 'hood', on my way to meet youth at my church, I realized I am no longer feeling the hurt and shame of my past.  I can pass with my head up. 

That’s who I was – this is who I am